Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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