We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
