She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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