so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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