): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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