this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
