i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize