Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
