I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Success! We fucked roommates!
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