Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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