Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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