David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
