I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
