I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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