I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
