All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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