I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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