Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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