New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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