I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The ass gains better be worth it
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