and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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