I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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