just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
