ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
