Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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