My hand turned me down
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
