and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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