Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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