Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
