It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
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You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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