we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
