My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
