Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
