Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
