I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
