Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
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