...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
