i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
