Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize