This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
