he shaved USA in his pubs
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
