I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
