My friends, they love my intelligence
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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