You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
