I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
