Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
