he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
