Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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