By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
