Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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