I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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