Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
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I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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