I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
