I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
