everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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