69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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