sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
