The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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