fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
