weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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