so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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